Tonight is Elisa’s last night in Honduras, the country where she has spent one third of her life ..six years! Her room is pretty much emptied out. Last week we sold her desk and dresser, and all that remains are her bed and a bookshelf with a few stray items that most likely will wind up in the garbage can. Her entire life and memories packed in two fifty pound hockey bags on her bedroom floor. How the years have flown by. How can it be that her time in this beautiful country has come to an end?
I overheard her on the phone the other night chatting with her friend Juli that she is nervous and doesn’t know how to relate to white girls and she is also nervous about adjusting to life in Canada. She said to me a few minutes ago “I don’t want to leave.”
But tomorrow we are doing exactly that as we fly out and head back to our other home for an extended period of time. It will be a much needed time to refresh and recharge our batteries. For the first time that I remember, I am actually looking forward to leaving Honduras for a while. Usually I kind of dread it it. For various reasons I have been finding my self stressed and frazzled and dealing with anxiety like never before. I have lost a lot of sleep, sometimes only getting a couple hours sleep a night. I will go to bed exhausted at the end of the day and then once my head hits the pillow, sleep eludes me. Sometimes I just can’t shut my thoughts off. It’s so frustrating. It hasn’t been the recent unrest in Honduras so much, although that hasn’t helped matters any and I will share more on this soon. There are other reasons, like losing Elisa as she leaves and worrying about how she will make it on her own in Canada. I have worried about our sons as well. And I have worried about how our dog will do when we are in Canada..even though I know she will be well cared for. And then there are a lot of what ifs and worrying about things that I really have no control over. I do know to leave things with the Lord and I honestly do try to pray and just beg for his help in this because I hate feeling l this way…and hate that I haven’t been able to get out of this funk and find myself worrying about the same things all over again. It’s a viscious cycle of releasing it to God and then taking it back.
As far as the unrest in Honduras goes..I am not sure how many have been following the news or how much is even on the news in the States and Canada, but things here have not been so peaceful for the last couple months. We try to be a little cautious with how much information we put on social media because we don’t want people to be alarmed or afraid for us. First of all, we are safe and we don’t feel like we are in any danger. However a lot of people have not been happy for a while now and have been exercising their right to protest. People are tired of their voices not being heard. They want peace. They want justice.They want an end to corruption. Sometimes these things do start out as peaceful but they can quickly get out of hand when others join in and cause havoc. There have been riots and roads have been completely blocked at times. We stay informed through other missionaries and usually know of which areas to avoid. It has affected us and our ministry because it has meant not teaching our bible classes at times because schools have been closed. There was one day last week that we were able to go in and teach. We were headed back home when our translator informed us of a text he had recieved that there was no gasoline in the city. We drove around to nine gas stations and all of them had their entrance blocked off with orange pileons. No gas! Thankfully Dale was able to find a station the following morning that had received gas over night and although he had to wait in line almost an hour and a half, he was able to fill the car with gas. Honestly there have been times where it has felt like the entire nation is falling apart.
Recently we were chatting with one of the security guards to our community. And he was sharing his thoughts on Honduras being a country without hope. He counted them off on his hand..”There’s no education, no healthcare, no money…problems with transportation..” He shared that only in Christ is there any hope for Honduras.
So while I am happy and looking forward to head back to Canada for a spell…I am also feeling sad to leave. I feel broken for the people who live in this country that God has called us to and I am heartbroken for the country that is the home of our heart.
Will you please pray for Honduras? Pray for peace and justice and for God to bring healing to this land.
God, you’re such a safe and powerful place to find refuge!
You’re a proven help in time of trouble—
more than enough and always available whenever I need you.
So we will never fear
even if every structure of support[b] were to crumble away.
We will not fear even when the earth quakes and shakes,
moving mountains and casting them into the sea.
For the raging roar of stormy winds and crashing waves
cannot erode our faith in you.
Pause in his presence
God has a constantly flowing river whose sparkling streams
bring joy and delight to his people.
His river flows right through the city of God Most High,
into his holy dwelling places.[c]
God is in the midst of his city,[d] secure and never shaken.
At daybreak his help will be seen with the appearing of the dawn.
When the nations are in uproar with their tottering kingdoms,
God simply raises his voice
and the earth begins to disintegrate before him.
Here he comes!
The mighty Lord of Angel Armies is on our side.
The God of Jacob fights for us!
Pause in his presence
Come and see the breathtaking wonders of our God.
For he brings both ruin and revival.
He’s the one who makes conflicts end
throughout the earth,
breaking and burning every weapon of war.
Surrender your anxiety![e]
Be silent and stop your striving and you will see that I am God.
I am the God above all the nations,
and I will be exalted throughout the whole earth.
Here he stands!
The mighty Lord of Angel Armies is on our side!
The God of Jacob fights for us!